A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
I NEED THIS ON A BIB
Cats are literally the cutest nerds ever
AU: When Harry arrived at Neville’s Christmas party he did not expect to run into old Professor McGonagall.
I’M NOT CRYING
I HAVE HAYFEVER
I HAVE FEELS IN MY EYES
Fuck special snowflakes who think like this.
Your ass ain’t fucking special because you don’t wear makeup.
You’re not fucking better than the woman with large breasts who wears tank tops.
You’re a piece of shit because you are putting sexist stereotypes onto other women in some anti-feminine bullshit.If you don’t like it, why’d you comment on it? I think it’s awesome and you’re probably one of the girls up there that wears makeup and shortshorts and tiny tanktops. And most kids today wear makeup because they think they aren’t pretty and need it. So deal with it. And get over yourself.
lemme tell you something: I wear tons of fucking make up. I wear short dresses. I walk around with a face that looks about as fake as it can get outside of a fucking barbie doll. and I like it that way. and, despite what you seem to think, no, it’s not because i think i’m ugly. i just fucking like makeup (and trust, i’ve spent years examining my own motivations and how they’re tied to internalized self-hated, fatphobia and misogyny so don’t EVEN cause you don’t know what you’re talking about).
I also read ravenously; engage in discourse regarding philosphy, art, economics, politics, race, gender, sexuality; make subversive art; and love comics and film and music. I’M A FUCKING PERSON IS WHAT I’M SAYING.
like how fucking deep is this goddamn image when the spine of the book JUST SAYS THE WORD ‘BOOK’.
this kind of bullshit narrative, other than furthering a misogynistic dichotomy that pits women against each other, is also a complete fucking fallacy. A huge majority of average women DON’T DO THIS. you aren’t the lone plain jane in an army of cake-faced, bottle blonde barbies—if you look around, you’ll see that most women just throw on jeans and tops and very little makeup.
I get that this kind of shit is an attempt to fight back against media-made images of what womanhood is supposed to be. I get it. (thought isn’t it interesting that the “weirdo” in the picture is still thin and conventionally attractive??)
but attacking other women who you perceive as being stupid or carbon copies because of their fucking appearance doesn’t fight back against shit. it actually does EXACTLY what the patriarchy wants us to do—engenders more hatred and competition between women.
but you know, whatever, continue to think you’re so goddamn special. i’ll be over here reading AND wearing hot pink lipstick and having a hell of a time doing it.
THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER READ IN THE HISTORY OF EVER
And that is how you tear a fake feminist to shreds. Bravo.
i regret nothing
I was playing something serious and then I paused it to play this.
I also don’t regret anything.